My Jewel of inestimable value, my best friend. She was everything any body could wish for in a mother, a real and the ideal mother. No one can every take her place.
She was a dutiful wife and a good mother to her children. She denies herself for the happiness of her children, my mother, can I ever forget her?
She got married to my dad in the sixties, blessed with wonderful children of wish I’m a product.
Growing up was fun with mum. She was a loving mother. I could remember when I was in the boarding house (Mayflower School) she was always there. It’s not as if my father wasn’t there too but dad was sort of strict back then, though loving too but my mother was always there at my low and high moments. I talk to her about anything.
My two elder sisters got married quite early left with me to be mum’s girlfriend. Mum and I are like sisters; we quarrel and make up just like two friends. If I come home late from work my mum will be outside waiting for me. We sleep together on the same bed, mum can’t sleep alone she always want someone by her side, if it’s not me, it will be Ife or Ike, her grandchildren.
My mum was too elated when I got married. She misses me so much. My immediate younger brother, married in 2006 December. It was as if mum was waiting for the wedding. It was a quiet wedding though but mum was very happy.
In March 2007, I took mum to Ibadan for her eye treatment. I noticed she was somehow always tired whenever she walks a little but I didn’t read any meaning to it, I only thought that it was part of ageing. By the end of March, I and my sister, and brothers received calls from dad to come and see mum, my elder sister is abroad but communicate on phone 24/7. Mum was getting tired and couldn’t eat much; she said she has no appetite for food. It was not a serious ailment at first and we thought she wanted to be near her children and my brother took her to his house to stay and she was receiving treatment and later on when we discovered that it’s still the same loss of appetite and tiredness she was taken to the Lagos State Teaching Hospital - Luth. She was admitted at Luth. My sister and I took turn to sleep with her and care for her there. Several tests were done, we prayed for speedy recovery.
Mum has a two year visa to travel abroad and she was making plans to go again after visiting there once but man proposes and God disposes. The only thing mum keeps telling the doctors was that she was ok but the only thing the doctors should do is to make her eat. She has no appetite for food at all, only prefer liquid.
The doctor then decided to discharge her thinking that if she’s with her family; she will be able to eat well.
I never knew my father loved my mum so much. At 72 dad will climb up and down the staircase of Luth hospital because mum’s ward was at the 3rd floor. At that time, my dad’s younger sister too had just died and we didn’t want mum to know so we kept it away from her. Dad was always there at the hospital praying for his wife’s recovery. It was not easy that we have to ask dad not to come to the hospital again because we do not want him to fall sick.
Before mum was discharged, mum prays for each and every one of us her children on her hospital bed, she kept saying some things as if she sees the future. She was eventually discharged and taken home. Mum stopped talking completely and she hardly looks at us in the face when we talk to her. She refuses to take anything again, not even water. We pray and keep vigil but I guess it was time. On Thursday night we had a vigil and prayed for God to take control. After the vigil, we sat her down, her head was resting on my chest and my brother and sister were both at her sides holding her hand, this was in the early hours of Friday morning at about 1.30am she starting breathing fast and it stops. I thought she had fallen asleep so we had to lie her down and at about 2.00am I checked on her again and she was warm but still and someone else said I should check if she’s still breathing, and alas my mother had passed on. She died on the 20th of April 2007.
Oh how I cried because I have lost a friend, a wonderful woman. If there is indeed another world, I want to come back through this wonderful mother of mine.
It’s as if my mother knew she was not going to be there for me when I start having children. She taught me all that I need to know about taking care of children. I started taking care of them right from when my nieces and nephews were 3months old, my sister brings them over for the weekends. Mum will wake me up in the middle of the night to prepare their food, change their diapers, and sing them back to sleep as if I were their mother.
Its almost two years now since I lost my mum and she’s ever fresh in my mind. There is this song composed for mothers sang by Buga, (Mummy ooo wa pe l’aiye, mummy hey hey hey wa jeun omo, eni bani ko ni ri be, a fo l’oju, a kan l’apa, a ko s’enu trailer, a ku tu e). A beautiful song and I wish my mother were still alive for me to sing that song to her.
How can I ever forget you mum? Just impossible. Your children miss you, but dad miss you much more.
Sleep on my dearest mother.
